How Cranial Crabbz Came to Be: A Tale of Clicks, Claws, and Crip-Walking
The Birth of a Legend (Inside My Actual Brain Cavity)
You know how some people get a cancer diagnosis and immediately start a gratitude journal or take up meditation? Yeah, well, I got brain surgery and ended up with a cartoon crab crip-walking through my skull. Let me explain.
December 2023: When the Clicking Started
Enter: Cranial Crabbz
Picture this: Fresh out of brain surgery. December 26th, 2023—gross total resection, right temporal craniotomy. I’m lying there, light and sound sensitive as hell, headphones in to block out the world.
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And then I hear it.
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Click. Click. Click.
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At first, I’m thinking, “What is that? Is that my brain? Is something loose up there?” But the clicking keeps going. Steady. Rhythmic. Like someone—or something—is walking around inside my head.
In my post-surgery, pain-med-fueled imagination, I didn’t see a medical explanation for the clicking. Oh no. I saw a crab.
Not just any crab, though. This crab had: - The swagger of Snoop Dogg: Smooth, laid-back, too cool for this tumor nonsense - The attitude of Mr. Krabs: Scrappy, money-on-my-mind (or in this case, survival-on-my-mind), crabby pants energy - And he was CRIP-WALKING: Sideways, back and forth, through my brain cavity like he owned the place.
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Click. Click. Click.
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That was his footsteps. His claws tapping across the inside of my skull. Cranial Crabbz wasn’t just visiting—he’d moved in. Rent-free. No lease. Just vibes and attitude.
Part Snoop, Part Krabs, All Sideways
Let me paint you the full picture of this character that literally manifested in my brain:
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Snoop Dogg energy: Unbothered, always has something clever to say, moves with confidence
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Mr. Crabby Pants hustle: Knows what matters, fights for it, doesn’t take no for an answer
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Crip-walking through adversity: Because when life’s trying to kill you, sometimes you gotta move sideways to keep moving forward
Cranial Crabbz doesn’t do pity parties. He does survival parties. And he throws them inside my skull, apparently.
The Soundtrack of My Recovery
For weeks after surgery, I’d hear that clicking. Click. Click. Click. And every time, I’d picture him—this ridiculous, confident crab just strutting through my brain like it was his personal dance floor.
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Light sensitivity? Headphones in. Sound sensitivity? Headphones in. And there’s Crabbz, keeping me company, reminding me that even in the darkest, most painful moments, there’s room for something absurd and hilarious.
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He became my sidekick. The voice that said, “Yeah, this sucks, but we’re still here. Make it snappy.”
From Clicking to Character
What started as a weird auditory hallucination (or maybe just my brain processing trauma in the most creative way possible) became something bigger. Cranial Crabbz wasn’t just a coping mechanism—he was a symbol.
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A symbol that said: - You can walk sideways and still move forward - Humor and faith can coexist with pain and fear - Even when life cracks your shell, you’ve still got claws.
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He’s the reminder that fighting glioblastoma is exhausting, terrifying, and sometimes absurd. You’re wearing a device that looks like you stuck your head in a toaster (shoutout to my Optune in a kangaroo shirt). You’re taking “azz candy” (RSO suppositories, don’t ask). You’re traveling the world in a wheelchair because GBM doesn’t get to steal your adventures.
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And through it all, you’ve got a crab crip-walking through your brain, keeping you company.
The Mission: Helping Warriors Everywhere
What started as my personal post-surgery manifestation became something I had to share. Cranial Crabbz isn’t just for me anymore. He’s for:
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The warriors fighting their own battles (cancer, chronic illness, life’s curveballs)
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The caregivers who need a laugh and a reminder they’re not alone
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Anyone who’s ever felt like life handed them a fight they never asked for
Because here’s the truth: We all hear our own version of the clicking. We all have battles. Some of us just have cooler mascots crip-walking through our brains.
Walking with Faith (and Claws)
At the heart of Cranial Crabbz is faith. Not the quiet, sit-still-and-meditate kind (though no shade if that’s your thing). The loud, messy, “God, I don’t understand this clicking in my head, but I’m walking with You anyway” kind.
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Faith that says curiosity is stronger than fear. Faith that turns post-surgery sounds into a cartoon character. Faith that keeps you traveling to Costa Rica, Hawaii, and Europe even when your body says, “Are you serious right now?”
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Cranial Crabbz walks sideways, but he walks with purpose. And he never walks alone.
What’s Next for Crabbz?
The Clicking Chronicles, The Hospital Hustle, Songs from the Skull—Cranial Crabbz is building a whole universe. A book series for warriors of all ages. A community where humor, faith, and real talk meet.
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Because if I’ve learned anything from two years of fighting GBM, it’s this: Life’s too short to take seriously, and too precious not to fight for.
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So here’s to Cranial Crabbz—the sidekick who manifested in my brain cavity, crip-walked his way into my heart, and reminded me that even in the darkest moments, there’s room for something ridiculous and beautiful.